Reading
between the lines.
A
light-hearted look at what an editor could really be thinking when
they send out a 'no thank you' letter?
Dear
Author
Thank
you for sending your novel, Seductress Succubus, to Small Press
Publications.
Thank
you, I don't think. What a load of old crap.
Unfortunately at
this time, your novel does not fit with our current market strategy.
Nor
is it ever likely too.
I do appreciate the
amount of hard work you have put into, Seductress Succubus and I am
sure with a less simplistic plot, and
years of trying,
you will find,
a sucker, a publisher that might be prepared
to publish your novel.
As it is our policy
at Small Press Publications to help all aspiring authors, I have
listed a few pointers that may help you improve your manuscript.
Probably a
complete waste of my time but I have to stick to company policy, no
matter how ludicrous.
Whilst the
story-line has merit, in
there somewhere, buggered
if I can find it though, your
lack of description does not help in gripping the readers attention.
I was
so bored stiff I thought I was developing rigor mortis.
Punctuation,
helps the reader determine the construct of your prose, so perhaps
you should consider using it more frequently.
Instead,
of rambling on with sentences that are longer than most paragraphs.
At least an occasional comma for god's sake.
Joining
a critic group can be a great help to the up-and-coming new writer.
I'm sick of
bleating emails from authors, much better someone else tells you, you
have no talent and probably never will.
And
finally, perhaps you would find a creative writing course helpful,
because trust
me you need all the help you can get. For a start, learning to read
and write properly might help.
Good
luck, boy
are you going to need it.
Sincerely
– yeah
right.
Ms.
Belinda. Itch. Editor's Assistant to
B.A.Stard, Editor
in chief Small Press Publications.
The
above is purely from my warped imagination and in no way reflects any
of the wonderful editors I have come into contact with, in the past,
now or in the future.
Thanks
for reading this post.
Josephine
Sanchez-Vanner
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